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TAKING
CARE OF THE CARE TAKERS
Over the past few years we have written articles that primarily focused
on the special needs and issues of the disabled police officer. This
is quite natural as they are the primary clients of this organization
and in the future I'm sure we'll be writing even more articles about
them. But, when we were discussing what lead article we wanted for
the D.P.O.C.C. Newsletter it dawned upon
us that there is another central character in this human drama of
the disabled that is often forgotten. That character or more appropriately
those characters are the many, many, spouses, children, parents, friends,
neighbors and whoever else that steps in to provide supportive and
compassionate care to the valiant men and women in blue who have become
disabled while serving their communities and their country. These
individuals, these caretakers, should also be counted and acknowledged
among the unsung heroes of our country
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WHO ARE CARETAKERS AND WHAT DO THEY DO? Virtually any of us could
be called upon to be a "caretaker" at some point in the
future. Most often when I think of the traditional role of a "caretaker"
I'm thinking of someone whose duty it has become to take care of an
ill and elderly parent. Since we all have parents, and many of us
have spouses and families, and probably a goodly number of us have
a relative somewhere living alone and without any dependents it's
well within the realm of possibilities that the duty of becoming a
caretaker could fall to us sometime in the future. For the spouses
of disabled police officers this possibility of becoming a caretaker
becomes a reality from the day their loved one became disabled.
If circumstances did work out such that we were faced with taking
on the role of caretaker would we be prepared to assume and carry
out that responsibility? I think it's hard for anyone to easily answer
that question without all the information they might need. I would
recommend checking with your local community health service organizations
or with elderly care organizations as they would have valuable insights
into this subject matter and could supply you with written information
as well as referrals to caretaker organizations that are trained and
prepared to share important information with you. A lot of what's
required in being a caretaker will depend on the severity of the disability
for the care recipient in your life. Some cases of disability are
not as severe and the care recipient can still carry out many of their
daily routines such as feeding, washing themselves and getting about
on their own. Other disabilities are more severe and come with many
more demanding care requirements that could virtually take the full
time of the person(s) supplying the care.
Over the years our counselors have spoken and counseled the spouses
of disabled police officers who have assumed the role of caretaker.
Oftentimes these individuals have had dependent children, a career
outside of the home, and an active social life they were dealing with
on a daily basis. Suddenly life takes this unexpected turn and new
demands, often ones they had not been trained to carry out, are now
theirs to deal with. For some individuals they see this caretaker's
role as a significant challenge but also an opportunity to demonstrate
the level of love and caring and commitment they have for their spouse/son/daughter/parent,
etc. For some individuals it is more than just a challenge and they
begin to feel overwhelmed and abandoned by their community, friends
and the department their spouse had worked for.
Immediately following this article is an article entitled, The Plight
of the Disabled Police Officer and his Family. This article is actually
a reprint of a letter we received recently by one such spouse who
has dealt with a very demanding and sometimes draining role as a caretaker
for many years. Her story is not unique but rather more common than
we would like to think. The purpose of the letter is not to just voice
a complaint as much as it is to create a sense of awareness that law
enforcement officers injured in the line of duty, and their families,
should not be forgotten after the retirement ceremony has faded into
memory.
The duties of a full time caretaker are physically, psychologically
and financially exhausting. It is important, and critically so, that
caretakers make sure that they take care of themselves each and every
day. This is vitally important for maintaining the mental and physical
state of the caretaker and will help to ensure that the care recipient
will continue to receive the care they need and deserve.
For all the caretakers reading this article, make sure that you contact
you local health care services and find out about the organizations
and resources that may be available to assist you in caring for your
disabled loved one. Don't be afraid to talk with your friends and
other family members about what you may be going through on an emotional
level in connection with carrying out your daily duties as a caretaker.
Don't hesitate to seek counseling if you are experiencing symptoms
of depression, anger, or feelings of getting burned out. Look outside
of yourself and your house to others that could spell you from time
to time so that you can get out for an evening, go to a movie or have
dinner with friends. Make sure you seek out and interact with Caretaker
Support groups, as they can be a valuable source of support and insight
to you.
While all of us certainly owe a great debt and appreciation to the
men and women of law enforcement who have become disabled in the process
of serving our communities we must not forget that we owe that same
gratitude and support to those who continue to serve day in and day
out caring for these heroes.
The Plight of the Disabled Police Officer and His Family
Hello, I would like to touch on a subject that so many individuals
don't like to think about, much less having to deal on a daily basis,
caring for a spouse who was a police officer and who became totally
disabled while on duty over two decades ago. I am the wife of such
a police officer and my children and I have been living with the repercussions
of that event for the past 26 years. You would think that over time
things would get better, maybe in some small ways they do but in general
they haven't. I am saddened when I think of the things that have changed
in our lives due to events out of our control. I am also frustrated
and angry by the apparent lack of compassion and interest that has
been shown towards us by the community my husband worked for, the
department he served in, and the public in general. I know from talking
with the spouses of other injured officers over the years that I am
not alone in feeling this way, but that doesn't help much.
I have a lot of unanswered questions that hopefully someday perhaps
there will be an answer, until then I guess you just have to tough
it out. My story is one that is so gut wrenching to me that I sometimes
wonder how it has been possible to get thought this dilemma up till
now. I count on my faith, the patience, and nerves of steel.
Being a Police Officer was a dream that turned into a reality, then
became a nightmare all in a matter of hours. My husband didn't realize
that the job he stood tall and proud of and the City he swore to Protect
would ever not be there for him, that is until he was so critically
injured in an on duty accident that permanently disabled him. We deal
with the aftermath of those injuries daily and we realize they will
never allow him to live without pain and suffering. This is fact and
not fiction from a spouse who has experienced this first hand.
I completely understand the support given to the spouse and family
of an officer when the unthinkable happens and that Officer pays the
ultimate sacrifice. His family is assisted and taken care of from
the time of the tragedy and remembered every year by the Police Department
they worked for and through the Police Memorial in Washington D.C.
This support is the honorable thing to do and the least that we can
do as a nation in paying homage to out fallen officers.
However, what happens to the disabled officer who also has paid the
ultimate price but in a different manner? What about those officers
that have become permanently and totally disabled? Who will be thinking
about those officers? Their department you're thinking, right? Wrong,
think again. It has been my unfortunate experience that no one cares.
The ones who tell you whatever we can do for your family or you just
say the word. Well obviously your words, when you utter them, means
nothing and fall on deaf ears.
How does a family cope with the magnitude of a horrifying injury,
do the children ever recover, well it depends on how old they are
at the time of the injury. Just picture yourself maintaining 2 children
working 2 jobs with a disabled husband and him feeling helpless knowing
that in society today as in years past the husband for the most part
is the bread winner. To have your career suddenly end due to no fault
of yours is really inconceivable and devastating to say the least.
I speak from first hand experience. Is there no one out there that
has the answers? I have a few words of advice and a warning. When
men or women choose a career in law enforcement in an effort to make
their families and communities a safe place to line in, just be sure
that you don't become disabled in the process of carrying out your
duties.
Perhaps someday there will be change.
Since my husband's injury I have formed a support group for Spouses
of Injured Police Officer's S.O.I.P.O. "Any moral support or
assistance that I can render to the family of an injured Officer I
am there to do it." I'm doing my best to assist others by sharing
my experiences and advice for dealing with the aftermath of the injury
and help them to understand the hurdles they will endure in the coming
weeks, months and yes even years. I try to explain to the spouses
how the system works for disabled Officer's or how the City says one
thing and does something else.
Finally, I try and answer questions regarding long term care and deal
with the nagging questions of why this whole thing has happened and
what if anything they can expect in the way of assistance. Unfortunately
my husband was robbed of the most precious thing in his life, his
well being and memory, sustaining a skull fracture so intense that
he suffers seizures on a daily basis, and will until the end.
So, please if you have a congressman or a lawmaker that wants to prove
what he can do give this issue of Rights for Disabled Police Officer's
to champion for.
Be Safe,
Lea Ann Weatherford (Florida)
Wife of Disabled Police Lt. Bruce C. Weatherford
Hialeah Police Department
Diet
and Exercise – Good for the Body and Good for the Mind
The last time I saw my doctor I got the normal lecture about losing
some weight and getting some exercise. This was his annual sermon
and one that he's been giving me for about 10 years. Normally what
I do is to tell him I will carry out both orders with haste and vigor
as soon as I get home. The reality of course is that when I get back
home I'm quickly swept up in the rushing current of family and work
responsibilities and my promises soon fade to black.
There was a difference this time on the way home. I reviewed in my
head the numbers from the blood work report, the rather large numbers
on the scale, the numbers making up my age and figured I better get
serious. So I have. What I relate to you below is just my approach
for losing weight and getting more exercise. There's nothing extreme
in my approach it's really just a matter of the less is more philosophy
– less food and more exercise. For anyone who's contemplating
a serious weight loss/exercise program check with your doctor first.
The first step of my journey was to get on a meaningful diet. If truth
were to be told over the years I've been on probably as many diets
as anyone who reads this article with the sum of all my efforts resulting
in no real net weight loss over time. In the past I tried eating fewer
carbohydrates and more fats, then more carbohydrates and less fats.
I watched infomercials about instant solutions with special diet foods,
large rubber balls, work out routines and even bought some of those
exercise gimmicks. In the end I still wasn't making much progress.
I mentioned what I was trying to accomplish to my wife, who is a nurse,
and her advice was quite simple. Don't eat so much junk, don't keep
eating all the time, eat more fruit and vegetables and GET SOME EXERCISE.
I wondered if she had been listening in on my Doctor's conversation
with me. But she was right. The solution doesn't have to be as complicated
as TV celebrities; magazines and newspaper articles make it.
So I have begun to execute step 1 in my plan to lose weight and get
in shape. I'm eliminating the majority of the junk/fast food that
I've been eating, I'm trying to make my snacks more oriented towards
fruits and vegetables (hint: prepare these in advance or if you're
like me you'll be reluctant to take the time to prepare them just
when you want them) rather than candy, and I'm reducing the number
of drinks I normally consume. The next big step regarding a diet,
which seems to be the hardest for me, is to just eat less – take
smaller portions at each meal. This step is important at home and
when you're dining out. At home you simply take less and move back
from the table when you're finished eating what you've served yourself.
When dining out you know most restaurants are going to give you a
gigantic portion of whatever you order, so just don't feel compelled
to eat it all. There's no magic here, no revolutionary approach, just
eat the right foods and eat them in moderation. The library is full
of good books with helpful advice on what are “the right foods”
and page after page of suggested weight loss oriented menus.
Step 2 of my plan involves getting more exercise. The need for exercise
is simple, the body needs to burn more calories than it takes in or
you're not going to lose weight and you're not going to be in good
physical condition. As I‘m sure everyone out there has heard
numerous times, your heart, muscles and mind will feel better when
given the proper workout. (Again it's important to stress here that
you should check with your doctor before undertaking any new or strenuous
exercise routines.) Exercise, if it is to be meaningful has to be
done on a regular basis. You must be willing to make a commitment
if you want to make changes. You should be prepared to commit to a
routine of exercise at least 3 days a week for an hour at a time and
work your way up to 5 days as you begin to feel more fit.
I recently came across a terrific site on the web that deals with
staying active and getting proper exercise. It's the National Center
on Physical Activity and Disability (NCPAD).
I strongly recommend anyone with a disability or medical condition
to take a look at this site. The information on exercise in this site
is geared to those individuals with a disability or other medical
condition. They have one page that recommends exercises based on specific
types of disability, e.g. a spinal cord injury and other pages that
are great links to organizations that are dedicated to wellness programs
for the disabled. I came across a sentence in their home page which
kind of sums up the whole point of this article as it relates to exercise,
“The important thing is not what you do, but that you do something.”
In the next edition I'll report on my progress, and hopefully you
can write or email me back as to the progress you make in this area
as well. Good luck, and good health.
Legislation
Affecting Retired Police Officers
H.R. 218, THE “Law Enforcement Officers' Safety Act
For any retired officer out there who possibly hasn't heard about
the passage of H.R. 218 – Law Enforcement Officers Safety Act
I thought it would be good to give it a mention.
The purpose of this legislation is to exempt qualified active and
retired law enforcement officers from local and state prohibitions
on the carrying of concealed firearms. This law has taken a number
of years and a lot of hard work by many individuals and organizations
to finally get passed. President George W. Bush signed the Law Enforcement
Officers Safety Act into law on July 22, 2004. The Act is now referred
to as Public Law 108-277 and went into effect immediately.
I would refer to anyone wishing to know more about this law to access
the national FOP web site here.
There are several very informative pages of Frequently Asked Questions
about H.R. 218, which would be of particular interest to “retired”
law enforcement officers.
Scholarships for Retired Officers
NOTICE to Retired Officers anywhere in the country. If you have been
contemplating going back to school to obtain an academic degree or
the technical training certification necessary to obtain meaningful
and rewarding employment in the civilian workforce check out web site
www.dpoa.us. This
web site provides details on how you can apply for a scholarship of
up to $1,000.00 annually to help with the expenses of your continued
education. This program is administered by a non-profit, charitable
organization – the Disabled Police Officers of America, Inc.
You can submit an on-line application. Apply now for the upcoming
sessions.
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